Confession

Last night, I played in the house band for the Dordt Talent Extravaganza, which involves playing filler music to keep the audience entertained while the acts are being set up.  Aside from messing up in almost every song, mostly because of changing order and parts on the fly, it went pretty well, aside from me changing channel settings mid-Back in Black and dropping out early twice in other songs.  So does that sound like it went well? I' not sure.

We played Play that Funky Music during an extended break while judges deliberated, which included a bass solo and drum solo, both of which were pretty sweet.  After the talent show was over, at least 5 to 20 people said they were waiting excitedly for a guitar solo and asked why I didn't have one.   At this point, I confessed to them what I will confess now.

I am not that good at guitar.

I know there will be objections by people who have been misled, but its the truth.  Maybe my big head is making this up, or maybe it's because Miguel likes to compliment me to a ridiculous extent, but I feel as though there's a certain amount of hype about my guitar skills, and I think it's unfounded.  Back in high school, sure, maybe I was ahead of the curve a little bit;  being in a rock band and jazz band certainly helped that.  But now, I rarely play guitar on my own simply because of a lack of any amount of time to do so.  And without practice, I haven't gotten any better; if anything, I've slid backwards a little. Almost every week, the only guitar playing time I get in is guitar lessons and praise team.  Which also probably gives the illusion of lots of talent.   But in reality, I don't think I'm as good as people expect.

Don't get me wrong, I'm great at keeping rhythm.  I could play rhythm guitar all day.  But there's a lot more to guitar than that.  Yeah, I would say I'm a good guitar player.  I really, really, really don't want to sound full of myself or cocky, but I also don't want to discount the talent that I've been given by God.  I think He's used it for good things, hopefully He will this summer too.  I'm just a little wary of getting more recognition than is due.

I'm not sure how this admission is coming off.  Maybe it sounds like I'm trying to drum up sympathy so people will tell me how awesome I am at guitar so I feel better.  Maybe it sounds like I'm having a pity party on myself for secretly not living up to expectations people have.  Maybe it sounds like I'm trying to give the illusion of humility.  If any of these come across, I really don't mean this that way.  I don't want you to think that I have this grandiose vision of the world viewing me as the next Slash or Eric Clapton, because I don't.  I just think sometimes I get more credit than I deserve.  I don't want this post to be anything more than me stepping down from a pedestal that I feel I've been put on occasionally.  And occasionally keep myself on for too long.  Encouragement is great, just as long as it stays that, and that alone.