This is the only place I would ever consider quoting a Nickelback song, but only because it's cheesy and it fits the topic well

So two weeks? ago, a band with a couple Dordt guys and an alum played in the lobby of the new apartments/coffeeshop.  Dark am I, yet Lovely, they called themselves.  I guess its a little foggy at this point, but they played one of those many styles of music born in recent years which defies typical genre categorization.  A little bit of Brand New's darker sound, and little bit of rock and roll, all probably fitting somewhere in that indie realm of things.  Anyways, I really enjoyed them;  I thought they were something fresh.  Also, Dordt is absolutely devoid of bands.  So about anything would have sufficed for freshness, but these guys were actually good.  But seeing a band again stirred something in me.

I miss being in a band.  Don't get me wrong, if we had the chance to bring Here We Stand back, I would say no in a heartbeat.  We weren't very good and we weren't my style.  And we weren't very good.  But I miss having that creative outlet, that reason to write songs, the reason to dream.  I have little to no free time during college, so having room for practicing with a band is almost impossible.  On top of having no time for practice, I have little to no free time for writing words or music.  The idealist in me says that I should just have songs pouring out of me simply by living life, but the realist says that when I spend most hours of the day in class, doing homework, being in a few too many extracurriculars, and squeezing in a social life, I don't write songs.  I still think about it, but it doesn't come to me when I don't have time to sit down and plunk away at the guitar or do something with that line that's been running through my head all day.

The thing is, I still dream about being a "rock star", which, I assure you, is much different than the stereotypical image of  an 80's make-up wearing, perm-bearing headbanger.  This is the poor-guy-who-lives-in-a-less-than-civil apartment-with-4-of-his-friends-who-eat,-sleep,-and-breathe-music-simply-for-the-love-of-it kind of rock star.  How does that work for this logical-minded, play-it-as-safe-as-possible kid who would hardly sleep at night because he'd worry so much? I don't think it would.  Which saddens me (but not my bank account).  I don't really want to spend the rest of my life with my thoughts in the clouds about how awesome life would be if I could just make music instead of working a normal job.  But I also don't want to spend my life attempting to write song after song or giving up and getting a job I don't like instead of having a job I'm good at and enjoy.  Or maybe I'll just do both and stick it to the man.