Lately, death has been a heavy subject here in Jon's brain.  Not just death as the usual frightful or  relieving (depends on your perspective) event on the horizon, but death as the very real sudden force that drops down to earth and snatches away with no warning the ones we love.

It started this summer when a Dordt student that I used to be teammates with in high school cross country and soccer was killed during a climbing excursion in the Grand Tetons.  Brandon was a really funny guy and easy to like.  Go read the newspaper articles that quote Jim Eekhoff if you want to hear a testament about the kind of guy Brandon was.  Nothing unnerves you ( or your mother) quite like your friend getting phone call that someone you know who's about your age has gone missing in the mountains, especially when you're 500 miles from home on the first leg of a roadtrip on which your first stop is..mountains.  Your stomach drops when he gets a call half an hour later and the one-sided conversation between him and his phone gives away what you don't want to hear: the search party didn't find him.  They found his body.  It hurts to hear things like that.

Now today. An email this morning that a band member's father passed away unexpectedly.  Its difficult to imagine that happening, but it does.  You say goodbye to someone, leave for college, and the next time you come home they're not there anymore.

And now, even more.  This weekend, I became aware via facebook that a guy I used to play basketball against had been killed in a car crash.  This seems like something tragic, but not connected to me, other than a name that's stuck with me.  But its more than that.  I'm good with names, I guess you could say.  I like knowing people's names, for some reason, so I guess I tend to make an effort to know people's names.  Back in gradeschool, I looked at roster sheets at AAU basketball tournaments and connected the names with faces.  I can still name guys I played against that I've never talked to, never met, never had anything to do with them except playing basketball.  But not all the names are meaningless.  Sam Kruger was a guy I never officially met, but maybe talked to once or twice, I don't remember for sure.  But I respected that kid.  Sibley-Ocheyedan was a huge rival to SCCS's AAU team. They were one of the few teams that could beat us, so our games were intense.  But I cannot remember ever seeing him get out of control, lose his temper, or play dirty.  He played hard, but he played fair.  And I remember that.  And I remember thinking that he was  a great guy.  And I am sure he had no idea the impact he had on me.

And now, less than a decade later, I find out he was killed in a car crash.  Another kid my age taken from this world.  It was unsettling news.  Tonight, I found out he was a very good friend of Brandon Wilson, a guy who transfered to Dordt who I've become good friends with.  The tragedy increases.  I tell him I'm praying for him, and he tells me to pray more for the wing Sam lived on, where Sam was leading a Bible study to a lot of guys who didn't know Christ.  My junior-high suspicions proved correct.  Sam was everything he could be.  Everything I wish I could be.  But now he's gone.  I didn't even know him, but it he's left an impression on me.

The last couple hours have raised a lot of questions.  I don't doubt that God's got it under control, and neither does Brandon.  But it hurts to think about this. I didn't even know Sam, but it hurts; I can't imagine losing a friend who had years of his life ahead of him.  Even more, I can't begin to imagine losing my life right now.  Who's to say I won't?  Who's to say any of us won't?  I don't know what else to do but mournfully lift up those whose  hurt is far greater than mine, and thank the Lord for every second of life I and those I love have been given.  Its times like these we resolve to live life fully, to change the way we think and live so that if our time comes all too quickly, we will go in confidence that we've done our best and left no doubt in the minds of anyone we ever came into contact with that we lived, we breathed, we died, with one reason and one purpose.  And that's what I'm doing tonight.




Will you carry me down the aisle that final day?
With your tears and cold hands shaking from the weight
When you lower me down beneath that sky of gray
Let the rain fall down and wash away your pain


Save sorrow for the souls in doubt